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L.A. Unified


David Newer                                     photos by Lisa Silberman.

                                              by Deirdre Donovan

 An actor turned substitute teacher makes the grade with his new autobiographical solo show at the 2014 Unified Solo Theatre Festival.

The 2014 United Solo Theatre Festival turns five this fall and has over 130 productions criss-crossing the boards at Theater Row (September 18 through November 23).  Of all the offerings, however, David Newer’s autobiographical play, L.A. Unified, is decidedly unique.  It is a heart-felt paean to substitute teachers everywhere who surprisingly discover that teaching per diem is no “babysitting” job but a litmus test of one’s humanity.

An actor turned substitute teacher, Newer makes the grade with his solo storytelling, largely because it is more than a vanity show.  Newer has a real knack for inhabiting off-beat personas, and audience members get to eavesdrop on his personal odyssey into the inner-city classrooms of L.A.

The presentation begins with a nightmarish volley of gunshots and a school lockdown back in 1993.  At first blush, it seems too melodramatic for an opener.  But Newer is just telling it like it is:  substitute teaching is a job that in a blink can turn dangerous.

Though the dangerous flavor of teaching du jour is sustained throughout, Newer doesn’t overplay his hand.  Instead he scratches beneath the surface of his new-found career and taps into what really makes it tick:  the kids.  Newer portrays ten kids that he encountered during his visits to various L A. classrooms.  From the sassy to the suicidal, the precocious to the autistic, the most manipulative to the truly innocent, he does more than entertain here, he peels away the educational propaganda and reveals what a real inner-city classroom is like, and the inadequate conditions that kids must learn in.

Newer doesn’t limit himself to portraying only the youngsters in a classroom either.  He broadens his piece by presenting mini-portraits of the school’s staff, which he would inevitably encounter during his school sojourns. One of his more memorable skits recounts his day at an elementary school in L.A.’s South Central neighborhood.  Here he meets a no-nonsense school secretary, who immediately informed him that the bathrooms were “outa orda” and that his classroom was in “traila forty-six, out th’ door, t-ya left.”  Proceeding to the classroom, he describes it as the rough equivalent of a “war-zone.”  He soon found himself eye-to-eye with thirty-two eight year-olds who were creating enough chaos to scare away Mother Teresa herself.  He then learned from a student that the class hadn’t had a teacher since school started.  But this fact faded into the background when one male student approached his desk and bluntly asked him:  “Teacha… teacha, Please teach me, teach me how to kill myself.”  It is such moments as this during the show, that transforms the piece from being just a showcase for Newer’s talent into something more profound.

While the pathos of this classroom experience is the most affecting, there are other episodes that standout for other reasons.  In fact, one borders on the downright weird.   Newer tells of the day when he was assigned to Stoner Elementary.  During his lunch break, he happened to sit next to a teacher named Jonah Possel, who was reading a Bible and had “a stack of papers with the word ‘GOD’ mapped out in connect-the dots.”  Curious, Newer engaged in a conversation with Possel, and asked him about his God lesson.  Possel responded that he was a “messenger of God,” and that his students were his “flock.“ Sound a tad fanatical?  Well, however you feel about religion being brought into any public school classroom, Newer makes a larger point here:  Religion is ever a hot-potato subject, and in a school environment, is a topic that wise teachers steer clear of.

Newer never gets preachy, sentimental, or mawkish.  Even when he is recalling his painful divorce from his wife (who left him for another man) or his father’s death from acute leukemia, Newer uses these experiences as a lens into the human condition.

While the piece is riveting, and often inspiring, its unavoidable flaw is that it presents teaching in bite-size pieces.  Just when you get hooked on what he’s telling you about a kid, he moves on to the next vignette.  However, it is in the very nature of this ephemeral job.  One never gets to know any student in-depth.  So one must simply accept the play on its own theatrical terms --and realize that it is a mirror of substitute teaching itself:  one gives a student his best, and then moves on.

The ideal audience for this show is actors who have experienced the ups and downs of showbiz and those who have taught by proxy at some point in their lives.  But, actually, this show will appeal to anybody who has had to find their footing in a new occupation that might not come with an easy-to-read manual and becomes a real stretch for their talents and stamina.

Newer’s first performance on October 11th quickly sold-out.  Not to worry, though.  He now has a second booking at the festival on October 20th.    So don’t dally!  His play is the perfect antidote for anybody who is singing the blues about their career and needs to get a fresh outlook on life.

Through November 23rd.
At the Studio Theatre, at Theater Row, 410 West 42nd Street, Manhattan.
For ticket information, phone 212-239-6200 or 800-447-7400
or visit www.Telecharge.com
Running time:  70 minutes with no intermission